rediscovering eden
Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the bright and morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart
Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are
I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours
Who Am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
and watch me rise again
Who Am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me
whom shall i fear
whom shall i fear
i am yours
dailies
Monday, January 12, 2009
-10:49 AM
Yesteray wasnt really encouraging for me yet encouraging in some sense.
I totally screw up at the first song for chinese service... was given the song title but i realise it was totally different in the database.
Well, who to blame as i was late.. i set for myself to come at 9am but in the end, i reached at 9.30 instead.
My dad woke me up at 7 plus and keep kajiao'ing me. I was pretty pissed and went back to sleep, after which i cant wake up anymore.
Someone said, "hey, you very smart eh, u cry first then no one will scold you" well, i cried because i felt rather disppointed with myself. Perhaps i am a perfectionist when doing God's stuff. Though i know that God already bless a lot, cause i can sense the black aura filling me when i am put in charge of the ppt for chi scv. Have requested to Pr chua that i will rather do the eng one. Not only the late issue and the aura thing but at least i can serve with Yuhang. *the aura is just some bad feelings lah... meaning for yesterday only*
well, i know that God has His soveriegn plan. It is just that when doing God stuff, i wanna aim for what seems to be perfection in my eyes. well, that might be wrong too. Ok, some reading my blog might be judging me now... if you say u wanna perfection then why u late. That is when i will ask.
When i am faced with situations, which bro/sis or friend will be there to encourage me and urge me to stand up, which bro or sis will try to find a solution to the problem, which bro/ sis will be be there to say, dun worry, it will be fine and which bro/sis that will be judging and backstabbing me thinking that i simply a NATO or maybe a failure.
Many will think that in a CT society, there bound to not have the last one. But one true fact is that CT are not perfect and there are ppl ard who have high discernment skills using them to judge and criticise if you know what i mean. Well, in the NT, the pharisees are the good eg. i am not refering to anyone in mind but somehow when i screw up, not only i felt the that i am judge by myself, i felt different eyes looking at me too. Well, maybe that is a fake, maybe everyone is loving. It is just me, u know what i mean.
But i see many concern ppl ard me. ppl who bother to ask how am i, i dun zip my mouth as to what happen and i thank you that u notice that i am not alright. I am really glad also that there are just some sisters out there that when i see them, i simple felt safe to let out my emotions, to let out what is inside me. Thanks sisters and thanks yuhang... I realise without you all, i simple didnt know how to breath.
well, this seems kinda a little emo post.. haha... but now i am fine, just a thought after what happen yesterday and i admit to my mistake, will try to do better. Pray for me wont you?
